“Librarians” Reign of Terror Concludes
by Philippe Cloutier
Catching the bus downtown from the quiet realms of Capitol Hill I often pop into the AP News app and apprise myself of the day’s latest. Imagine my shock upon seeing this headline. How dare these librarians sully our respected title in a cheating scandal, garnering national attention and vilifying us throughout the world! I always thought putting librarians in charge of nukes a safe prospect but alas: At Core of Nuke Cheating Ring: 4 ‘Librarians’. As I read further the single quote marks around our honored label was thusly processed:
Investigators dubbed them “the librarians,” four Air Force nuclear missile launch officers at the center of a still-unfolding scandal over cheating on proficiency tests. “They tended to be at the hub” of illicit exchanges of test information… it was the four “librarians” who allegedly facilitated the cheating, in part by transmitting test answers via text message.
Damn those four “librarians”! Yet, what exactly makes them “librarians” according to these so called “investigators”? All I gathered is that they were the hub for text messages, applying this logic: high school kids and one’s children who never call are “librarians” as well.
My jest aside, our membership continually faces label issues and debates. Every year a new gauntlet is thrown down hoping to remove “librarian” or “library” assignments, aiming for more modern “information”, “knowledge”, etc. types. If the article says anything positive about “librarian”, in between the lines, it is that we are known for relaying, managing, and assessing quality information, even if by text. For better or worse, sensationalist headlines like this make it clear that the term “librarian” is generally and immediately recognizable; and, scandals excluded, esteemed.